Kids' Test Papers
These are from test papers and essays submitted by kids:
"When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."
"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars."
"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."
"Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and
makes them perspire."
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
"The body consists of three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the
abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the
heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there
are five -- a, e, i, o, and u."
"The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."
"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken
out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is
something to hitch meat to."
"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
"Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."
"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
"Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."
"For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to
make artificial perspiration."
"For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm
above the hand instead, or put the head between the knees of the nearest
medical doctor."
"To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."
"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."
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